Rooster in Review: The RooStore is open for business
Titty Island, here I come!
Folks, I am proud to report that our long, national nightmare is over.
For years—years!—people have been saying, “Sir, sir… when can I purchase one of those 'Bark with the Freaks’ shirts that I see you wearing when you’re lighting up City Council or harassing some Statehouse cretin from Applebee’s Country?”
For years—years!—I’ve said things like, “Just wait on it. It’s coming; I swear!”
Well, the day has come. Today, The RooStore is open for business. We’re starting with six simple graphic t-shirts, but the nice thing about our distributor is that these can easily be replicated on anything from hoodies to coffee mugs to bumper stickers to mass pads.
For now, however, we’ll keep it simple and start with some graphic t-shirts:
Hoodies will definitely be coming later this fall, in time for Christmas. If there is anything else you’re dying to have these designs on, feel free to let me know, and I can work something out.
If you don’t want to spend money on the latest innovations from my diseased mind, that’s cool with me. But stay tuned! The way these are selling, there will definitely be some giveaways in the near future, especially for the soldiers of fortune brave enough to join the fabled Patriots Caucus of President Xi Jinping.
If you’ve been on the fence about becoming a financial supporter of my work, feel free to redeem this 33% off coupon as my humble offer to you to join our ranks.
Together, we will soar to even greater heights.
This week in Ohio Man…
A lot of Ohioans don’t know that Ohio is an open carry state. It’s perfectly legal, for example, to walk down High Street carrying a shotgun like you’re Omar Little from The Wire.
However, our lax gun laws still don’t allow you to fire an AK-47 in city limits for no reason at all as one Ohio Man found out this week.
From Brian Koster of cleveland19.com:
LAKE COUNTY, Ohio (WOIO) - An AK-47 toting man was arrested after firing shots off behind an ice cream shop in Perry Township Wednesday, according to the Lake County Sheriff’s Office.
The sheriff’s office said they were called to King Kone located on North Ridge Road for a person with a weapon around 9:30 pm.
A man dressed in black was seen carrying a rifle and several magazines walking past King Kone and into a field south of the store.
When deputies arrived they heard several gunshots coming from an area of brush near a field south of North Ridge Road after approaching the area they found the man hiding in the bushes.
I’m going to guess that drugs, alcohol, or drugs and alcohol played a role in this incident. Just another proud moment in the history of our country’s well-regulated militia.
This week in The Rooster….
Buckle up; it’s about to get hectic. The FBI recorded Larry Householder threatening to take a “massive shit” on the grave of his political rival, the Columbus Department of Police did a mass shooting, and more! (Free for all)
At least after today we’ll have an answer. (Rightfully) predicting the outcome of Wednesday’s vote, giving Ohio a new marketing slogan, and the State Legislature works to unwind child labor laws.
The heart of it all. Recapping a wild week at 1 Capitol Square that ended with the Republicans (predictably) changing the rules to serve their reactionary agenda.
As always, be sure to follow The Rooster on Twitter and TikTok for all of Ohio’s depravity, all the time.
THOSE WMDs. Remembering the Tulsa Race Massacre, 102 years later… Big Beef’s climate messaging machine: Confuse, defend, and downplay… Alex Jones owes her millions, and she’s forced to crowdfund her cancer treatment… Down in the deep, the law distinction between land and sea no longer holds… Dogs on India’s streets can be free and happier than a lot of pets.