Goons at the Library

Ohio is a definitely a place with a future right folks? ... RIGHT??? ... FOLKS?????


There is a great debate about what exactly is the Midwest. I think we should rebrand to the Mideast but until that fateful day please point anyone who asks your opinion about what constitutes the Midwest to this map:


I’m not sure about the worst aspect of Ohio politics.

It’s either the poorly written corrupt cartoon characters pilfering public coffers to pay corporate cronies while they kick working people further into the dirt or that half of Ohioans can’t find it within themselves to spend 30 seconds a day to learn about the highway robbery that occurs in this state every year in broad daylight.

But you guys subscribe to The Rooster so as you know First Energy is spending millions of dollars defending their welfare check with racist mailers. What I haven’t mentioned yet that maybe you already know but for those that don’t First Energy has also funneled money to a group paying “blockers” which is political jargon for schmucks paid to go interfere with enemy petition-gatherers.

It’s already lead to a scuffle on the hard-scrabbled streets outside the Dublin Library.

From Andrew J. Tobias of

COLUMBUS, Ohio — A petitioner working for a campaign to repeal Ohio House Bill 6, the recently passed nuclear bailout law, called local police Tuesday after he said someone working for the pro-HB6 side shoved him and knocked his cell phone out of his hands.

Harold Chung of Las Vegas was collecting signatures outside a library in Dublin, a Columbus suburb, when he said a woman who had been following other petitioners around assaulted him. He said he was uninjured, but his phone was damaged.

“I took a picture of her and she hit the camera out of my hand, and then she dropped some of her fliers,” Chung told a 911 dispatcher, according to a copy of the audio released Wednesday in response to a public records request. "So I was helping pick them up for her and she kind of shoulder blocked me away.”

The matter remains under investigation by police, a Dublin city spokeswoman said Wednesday. No arrests were made.

There are only four possessions I am willing to die over: My two cats (The Starcat and Apestoso), my phone and my laptop in that order. If you take a swing at my phone that I use to post then you better kill me because otherwise I’m pressing charges and you’re going to prison for 25 years.

This is only the start of the struggle too. If the repeal effort of House Bill 6 makes the 2020 ballot we will witness one of the all-time dirtiest campaigns in its defense and that’s saying a lot considering less than a year ago we witnessed Mike DeWine drop $4 million to burry Richard Cordray in negative ads that basically accused him of not having a problem with rape.


Farmers are a different breed. One of the most rewarding experiences of my failed Statehouse campaign was going to Darke County to spend a day touring four local farms and getting to ask farmers about their lifestyle I never understood as someone who had been logged into the internet for 14 hours a day since 1993.

Farmers are a stoic bunch. They value hard work and take pride in providing for their families and feeding millions of other people they will never meet. Most impressively to me they’re organized from the top down through the Ohio Farm Bureau who say what you will at least understands how power works.

But farmers are in a tough spot right now. President Business Deals claims to love them yet his trade war has put farmers on the butcher block. And for all their strength in community one thing that’s not their forte is an open discussion of mental health.

That’s something the state government is hoping to change in the wake of a wave of farmers dying by suicide.

From Beth Burger of

State officials announced a mental-health awareness campaign Tuesday aimed at rallying Ohio farmers, who are dealing with one of the worst planting seasons on record as well as tariffs levied by China on certain crops in retaliation for President Donald Trump’s tariffs on Chinese products.

“Earlier this year, I sat down to talk to farmers who are faced with the most devastating economic losses they have ever faced from the weather. Many of them told me they felt as though they had the weight of the world on their shoulders,” Dorothy Pelanda, director of Ohio Department of Agriculture, said at a news conference.

However, Pelanda said at the news conference at a Brown Township farm that the suicide rate among farmers is more than twice that of the general population — information that has been widely cited and is also inaccurate. The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has initially released data from a study comparing suicides by occupation from 2012-2015 that supported what Pelanda said, but the agency retracted that report last November because of numerous issues, including coding input errors and the fact that the data was from only 17 states participating in the National Violent Death Reporting System.

I hope the campaign breaks through to farmers.

I speak openly about my struggles with mental health and my therapist because yes I’m chemically imbalanced and everybody knows it but also because I know there are people out there who most folks would never guess were struggling with everyday life in the hellscape of 2019 America so maybe they read a sentence I wrote and realize there is no shame in seeking help to get their mind right.


I love that The Ohio State University tried to trade mark the word The. Led to a bunch of folks who went to inferior universities crying on social media. What I don’t like so much is Ohio State employs a team of legal eagles that I assume making half a billion dollars a year and somehow they got beaten to the honeypot by whatever the fuck Marc Jacobs is???

From Eric Heisig of

CLEVELAND, Ohio — The word “the” doesn’t belong to Ohio State University, and it’s sort of Marc Jacobs’ fault, according to a letter a U.S. Patent and Trademark Office sent Wednesday to a university attorney.

The office rejected an attempt by Ohio’s flagship university to trademark the word, stylized as “THE” in all caps, in ways that signify its association with the school on T-shirts and hates.

The letter cites two reasons. One is that the Marc Jacobs fashion line beat the university to the punch, seeking to trademark “the” on May 6 for its use on handbags, knapsacks and other items. Ohio State didn’t file its application until Aug. 8.

The other reason is that Ohio State’s proposed use of it on clothing “is merely a decorative or ornamental feature of applicant’s clothing.” In other words, the word, as presented, is an add-on and not something that would help people associate it with the university.

I haven’t been this embarrassed by a Buckeye loss since that time I traveled from Missoula Montana to Columbus and drank two 40 ounce bottles of Bud Heavy and watched No. 1 Ohio State lose to Urban Meyer and the Florida Gators by 500 in the 2007 national championship game.

But if this is the most embarrassing loss of the year for the local team then that means we won another championship so I’ll live with it.


The FBI arrested Ross Ulbricht aka Dead Pirate Roberts in 2013 for running Silk Road the original dark web drug market that functioned like Amazon and connected drug users all over the world with drug dealers who sent their product through the mail to much success.

In typical Ohio fashion it’s 2019 and state law enforcement is realizing holy shit any motherfucker can go online and order any drug to their mailbox.

From Lucas Sullivan of

In the late spring of 2018, French customs officials in the northern town of Halluin at the border with Belgium stopped a suspicious vehicle that they found loaded with packages of ecstasy and cocaine.

Among the many packages were five boxes that each contained a kilo of ecstasy double-wrapped in heat-sealed plastic. The packages were addressed to Zachary L. Tribby of Lancaster, according to federal court documents provided to The Dispatch.

About a week later, more packages from Germany that were addressed to Tribby with more kilos of ecstasy were flagged during a search by U.S. Customs officials.

“We need more officers trained in actually functioning on the dark web and addressing those crimes,” said Dennis Lowe, the major crimes commander for the Fairfield County sheriff’s office joint task force, which includes officers from police departments in neighboring counties. “The capabilities at the local law enforcement level are not where they need to be for this type of activity.”

Knowledge of the dark web, coupled with the introduction of cryptocurrencies such as Bitcoin, has made it easier for people to commit crimes undetected and out of reach of law enforcement.

Maybe one day America will be ready to have a conversation about how no matter what draconian laws are passed at least 25% of people would be willing to climb into a volcano to secure their next high and maybe instead of imprisoning these people maybe we should treat it as a mental health issue like alcoholism. I already know I’ll be dead before that happens.


Anybody who knows me in real life knows I’m no hard-ass but one thing I won’t do is call the cops unless someone died. Because once you make that call the most likely scenario is somebody’s life is changing forever and that’s not a role I feel comfortable in playing.

Anyway let’s see how one person handled the situation in Glouster(???).

From Tyler Buchannan of

The argument involved a new resident and the place’s previous tenant, according to a sheriff’s report. Apparently the old tenant left a couch there when they moved out, and returned on Tuesday demanding the furniture back.

“The caller advised the (old tenant) that the couch was no longer there, and they needed to take it up with the landlord,” the report states. “The previous tenant then began shouting obscenities.”

Deputies were called to the scene, but the angry former tenant left by the time law enforcement arrived.

If somebody starts shouting obscenities my advice would be to close the door.

THOSE WMDs. The Falling Man… India builds detention camps for up to 1.9 million people stripped of citizenship… The undercover fascist… Purdue Pharma to break up and pay victims while the Sackler Family avoids prison… The five years that changed dating… StarKist hit with $100 million fine in tuna price-fixing scandal… The myth’s of the “genius” behind Trump’s re-election campaign.