Rooster in Review: Welcome to the Annual Memorial Weekend Sale
Discounted t-shirts and Patriots Caucus passes are afoot. Strike while the iron is hot!
When you fire up the grill this weekend or dive into your man-made concrete chemical pond, you must remember the holiday is about the brave troops who perished defending the rights of the capitalist class to sell you their wares at a discounted rate during Memorial Day weekend.
For any freeloader in the parking lot, you have until Monday at 11:59:59 p.m. to join the fabled Patriots Caucus at 50% off the sticker price.
At this rate, President Xi Jinping is practically giving them away!
But that’s not all! The Rooster is doing its part to expand the almighty Ohio T-Shirt Economy, and as such, I’ve reduced all t-shirt prices to $19.99 until Monday at 11:59:59 p.m.
Feel free to browse the shop! Shipping is handled promptly and professionally; you’ll have your shirt in your hands in a few days.
Those of you with items in your cart… it’s time to finalize at the discounted rate if you want to curry favor with President Xi.
This week in Ohio Man…
Ohio used to produce presidents, Civil War generals, Olympic heroes and historic astronauts that went on to appear on Jeffrey Epstein’s flight logs.
We have cryptocurrency connoisseur LeBron James these days, and that’s about it after an Ohioan behind a famous meme died this week.
From Jeremy Newman of sciotopost.com:
OHIO – A man famous around the internet for his Honest work meme, was famous locally for other reasons in Fairfield County Ohio.
David Brandt died over the weekend when he was involved in an automobile crash in Urbana Illinois. He was transported to the hospital after suffering several serious injuries and later died from that incident he was 76.
Most people know Brandt from a 2012 viral meme that still is seen on social media today that says, “It ain’t much but its honest work.” The photo and the statement were taken at a Natural Resources Conservation Service event on his farm in 2012 and has become a global symbol of traditional values and work ethic.
Another case of society suffering the inevitable consequences of letting everyone drive personal automobile vehicles whenever they want. Will when it end? Not anytime soon, unfortunately.
But Brandt wasn’t the only Ohio Man to make the news.
Tanner Rhinehart, a Newark man, was arrested after taunting police in the Facebook section of his own “Wanted” poster.
NEWARK, Ohio — An Ohio man who recently commented on his own wanted poster was arrested on Wednesday.
The Newark Division of Police posted on Facebook last week saying 20-year-old Tanner Rhinehart was wanted on multiple warrants.
Rhinehart commented on the post saying “Y’all almost had [me] the other day you gotta be quicker than that.” He also commented asking what he would get if he turned himself in.
On Wednesday, police made a post saying Rhinehart jumped into a river to avoid being captured, but was later arrested.
My first guess would have been that this story happened in Marion, the City of Kings. But my second guess would have been Newark.
As always, it’s a bad idea to taunt the police if you’re on the lam. You already had enough of their attention, brother! Why risk it?
This week in The Rooster…
The price of peace. Columbus turned the Short North into a police state and shuttered street meat vendors early to stop the recent spat of violence. The violence will return when things go back to normal.
Gary Click shows why Christianity is dying in America. Click showcases why Christianity is dying in America, Justin Bibb disgraces so-called Millennial leadership, Columbus Vice sure loved hanging out in strip clubs, and more! This week’s most popular dispatch.
The Bathroom Bill isn’t very well thought out. A conversation with State Rep. Adam Bird (R-New Richmond), a sponsor of the Bathroom Bill, while State Rep. Gary Click (R-Vickery) gets the full gulag experience.
As always, be sure to follow The Rooster on Twitter and TikTok for all of Ohio’s depravity, all the time.
THOSE WMDs. Unexpected flavor combos too delicious not to try… The 100 hardest video game levels of all time… Chasing Pablo Escobar… Animal agriculture is dangerous work, and the people who do it have too few protections… The secret history and strange future of Charisma.